I created this space as a place for me to share these loves and passions of mine; what makes my heart beat and colors my days alive. My hope is that this blog is filled with the realness, the rawness, the beautiful, the heart stirring, gut aching, shakey nervousness, slow and pensive, wild and thriving thoughts and moments of LIFE.


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Foster Care, Life

May 10, 2019

Goodbyes & Guilt

I’ve shared pretty openly about our last few days together here, but I’ve never shared about the guilt I fight daily. We had 3 days between the call where we learned he would be leaving our home and the day that we dropped him off at another home.

It has been close to 8 months, but I still relive the fact that I dropped this baby off at another home and never came back for him over and over. I think of how confused he must have been. How sad and hurt he must have been. How betrayed he must have felt.

It wasn’t my choice, and I know that and God reminds me of that often… but satan still tries to whisper to me that it doesn’t matter whether or not I had a choice, because in the end I was still the one who didn’t come back.

Gosh I’m so thankful that I don’t serve a God that makes me feel that way. A God that reminds me of truth. Who casts out those lies.

Goodbyes are freaking hard. There’s no way to spin it. I’ve seen him a handful of times since then and he seems to be thriving. Thank you Jesus for that. ♥️

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