I’ve taken a couple days off from social media (other than a couple pop ins to work) so that I could focus on being intentional in prayer and just with my time in general.
Peace is not something that’s coming naturally in this season, and honestly without the distraction of social media, that became more and more apparent as the hours ticked on.
We are supposed to get some clarity on what little man’s future will look like this week. Every phone call, every email, every notification since Monday has sent me into panic. One call, email or message this week will change our future and I don’t know if I’ve ever been in a season where trust in the Lord has been a harder battle.
When there’s been uncertainty in this case, I find myself going through the thousands of images we have taken the last 9 months to organize and edit them so that I can quickly order photo books to be sent on with him if needed. I made Ty give me all of the images he’s taken last night. The in between moments that I never knew were being captured like this one. Ones where my first gut reaction is to pick myself apart until the memory comes back and floods my mind. What song was playing. The smell of a fall/wintery oil combo flooding our home. The complete and utter exhaustion and feelings of “holy crap I have no clue what I am doing or how I am surviving” mixed with immense joy and gratitude.
😭
This time I can’t muster the strength to go through the images I haven’t yet. Or organize them or edit them, so instead I pray. I pray that I get more time to go through the photos. I read my Bible. I plead. I try to allow my heart to trust Him.
And as hard as it is, I would never go back to that November day and say no. Not in a million years. ♥️
