Vulnerable post alert. I’ve never really shared about dealing with anxiety and panic on my platform, but I figured today was the day because this shouldn’t be something that is taboo or not talked about. 😉
A year ago today we started licensing classes to become foster parents. And for some reason it gave me extreme anxiety and induced a lot of panic.
I took this photo to send to Ty before our class that day. Splotchy, racing heart, racing thoughts, throat feeling like it was closing, not being able to get enough air, shaking like I was cold but sweating at the same time…
We weren’t about to be handed a baby, we were just starting 10 weeks of classes… But there was something about this part of our journey that made everything feel real for the first time. I was questioning what we were doing. I was wondering what our future would look like. I was afraid. I was listening to lies that said we weren’t cut out for something like this, and I wasn’t trusting that God would bless what He had called us into.
But here we are a year later. In the depths of this thing, and I won’t lie…it’s literally the hardest thing I’ve done. It’s stressful, it’s full of unknowns. It has brought out more anxiety than I thought possible. But it’s also the sweetest season I’ve ever had in my life. Ty and I are learning so much about Gods character, and about each other. It is an honor to love the kiddos who have been placed in our lives. To become “attached” but to also want nothing more than for Jesus to restore families. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t thank Jesus for calling us into being foster parents.
If you feel like God has placed foster care or adoption on your heart, but you’re just plain scared, I promise you that our Father will meet you there. Those negative/scary/fear-filled thoughts you have? They’re not from Him. They’re from someone who’s trying to keep you from doing generation-changing Kingdom work. We have a GOOD Father and He will equip you for what He’s called you to, just like He has done for Ty and me. ♥️
(It’s also during this season that I decided to give up caffeine in hopes of helping anxiety, and it has drastically reduced how anxious I am and has allowed me to sleep better, manage those “worst case” racing thoughts, and really focus on Truth and Light. It’s not gone, but it’s a million times better, and I notice how much it affects me on the days that I cheat and have caffeine. I know that this won’t be the case for every person but I’m sharing just in case it helps one person. ♥️)
