And just like that, as quickly as they came, they’re gone.
The house doesn’t have toys and clothes strung out all over. There’s no food thrown on the floor. No snoring babes on the monitors. No more sweet snuggles after bath time, or quiet and gentle mornings, no more piggy back rides or baby wearing. No more sweet giggles or pattering of little feet running down the hall.
There are little reminders of them everywhere, though. Like the cute hand prints left on our sliding door. And the toothbrushes on our counter. The Cheerios throughout the backseat of our car. The pacifier left on our coffee table.
The past 5 days have been refining. They’ve been some of the hardest days of my life. Though there were many sweet moments, the reality is, trauma is hard. There were meltdowns, there were tantrums, there were cries for love. There were times where I let fear take over and told myself that I didn’t think I could do it, but we made it; we didn’t give up. We stayed consistent. We loved them fiercely through all of that. We made sure they felt so loved, felt so valued, felt so cherished.
We so wish this wasn’t how this first experience ended for us. But we knew going into this that it could very well be how it ended, and we said yes anyway. And we have now come out of it stronger. Our relationships with Jesus. And our relationship with each other… stronger.
I want nothing more than for these girls to have experienced even just a tiny peek of what it feels like to be loved by our Father while they were here. I pray that they can have the very best life possible, and that they come to know just how loved they are by Jesus.ย 
Thank you friends for loving us so well during this whirlwind of a week. We are thankful for you all.
